Attunement as an approach to Consensual Power Play

Teaser

In this workshop, we dive into power dynamics (SUB/DOM) through movement and dance, exploring the states of being moved and the role of power in engaging and orchestrating the dance.

We are not here to learn a fixed technique, but to cultivate inner states of being—so that we can move beyond the simplified dynamics of “active” versus “passive.”

Slowly and gently, we will establish a ground of surrender—giving in instead of giving up. We will build communication and collaboration, craft empathy and resonance, and create a setting in which both roles can harvest their own rewards. Our commitment is to a consensual space, where intensity arises through simplifying rather than amplifying.

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Playing with Power?

It feels important to differentiate what we mean when we use the word power. We live in a world full of unhealthy and unethical power abuse. Too often, power is taken or stolen—one gains more power over those with less. Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy describe this as power over.

The relation to power we are looking for is different. It is based on voluntary collaboration—what they call power with. One person gives permission within clear boundaries, limited in time and scope. This creates a completely different kind of relationship, one in which both roles can bring forward generosity, creativity, and reward.

In this workshop, our focus is a very specific consensual setting related to dance and movement. We will take time to craft a common language of moving together and to establish some basic principles of attunement. Then, we will explore two distinct roles and the dynamic between them: moving and being moved. Other elements, such as manipulation or immobilisation, may also be integrated.

We will not enter other realms such as impact play, role play, or erotic/sexual interactions. The goal here is to discover the rewards of fully inhabiting one role at a time, and the depth that opens when those roles are clearly held.

For the person submitting/embracing, the rewards can be deeply freeing: needing to control less, surrendering into connection, being cared for, and realizing that simply allowing is already enough.

For the person dominating/engaging, the experience begins as an honour—to receive such trust. From there, it becomes a creative act: composing, orchestrating, being in charge, and taking responsibility. It can be powerful, competent, and deeply fulfilling.

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Attunement?

In attunement practice, we explore relating through dance and play. Often we aim for a sweet spot where both partners are available to let go of control, fall into connection, and surrender to what is. The path is usually through undoing: allowing instead of doing, being moved instead of moving, training ourselves not to force.

At the same time, to create a playful ground, we also need to engage—to dare, to confront, to add spice, to create flow.

In dance, we long for the coexistence of both of these qualities—let’s call them embracing and engaging. Through play they often blend naturally, but what happens if we separate them first? Couldn’t it be interesting to deepen each state before mixing them? Might there be much more to harvest if we give them both more clarity and attention?

Out of this curiosity, this workshop is evolving.

Over the past two years, through workshops and festivals, I have encountered the world of submission and dominance. I was astonished by its depth, its pleasure, and its richness. I came to see attunement as a relational practice that resonates strongly even in sex+ settings. I began facilitating workshops at sex+ events, where the response was deeply affirming. Now I want to bring some of the richness of the kink and BDSM world back to inform attunement practice itself.

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Consensual ?

To embark on this journey, a growing sense of safety is essential. I will do my best to support this—by offering orientation, inviting slowness, and establishing ways of communicating together.

At the same time, this will be a learning space. Safety here does not mean avoiding discomfort. It means cultivating trust and the capacity to stay present with what arises. Here, safety is not the absence of difficulty but the courage to meet it together.

Attunement supports this in many ways. It trains us not to push or force, but to remain with what is. It invites us to notice when discomfort arises, and to practice staying with it without collapsing or withdrawing. In this way, attunement becomes both a practice of consent and a practice of connection—helping us discover how care and intensity can coexist, and how giving and receiving can deepen without harm.

You can read more about the space I want to create on the website: attunement.art/about-the-practice.

Attunement is also a supportive tool for consensual encounters. Below is a reflection I wrote after facilitating a Consent workshop (https://www.attunement.art/post/attunement-as-an-apporach-to-consent)